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Ways Fathers and Partners Can Help
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Support from fathers, partners, co-parents, family and friends makes a big difference and helps mothers achieve their breastfeeding goals.
How a Father or Co-Parent Can Help
Welcoming a new baby is an exciting, and often exhausting, time for a mother. Help from a father or partner can make a big difference for both mom and baby. ​
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When parents set breastfeeding goals together, they are more likely to achieve them. Understanding the benefits of breastfeeding can influence how long you plan to exclusively breastfeed and how long you will continue to breastfeed after solid foods are introduced at around six months.
Working together can help you achieve your breastfeeding goals by making sure mom has the time and energy to feed and allowing you both to get to know your baby. Both parents can play an important role in breastfeeding by watching for baby's hunger cues, helping to calm baby before feeding, and monitoring your baby's output and energy so you both can be confident baby is getting enough milk.
The Important Role of a Father or Co- Parent in Breastfeeding
Set Breastfeeding Goals Together
Some other things you can do to work as a team to meet your breastfeeding goals:
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Make a plan as to where you will get support if challenges arise.
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Discuss how you will get household chores completed.
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Discuss which friends and family are available to help.
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Make sure you are both actively involved with baby care and getting to know your baby.
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Support one another in meeting your breastfeeding goals.
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Communicate effectively and solve problems together.
Get to Know Your Baby
There are many important ways fathers, partners and co-parents can be involved and get to know their baby, including:
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Hold baby skin-to-skin.
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Talking softly, rocking, singing and reading to the baby.
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Change the baby's diaper.
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Give the baby a massage or soothing back rub.
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Bathe the baby.
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Play with the baby.
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Watch for cues the baby is hungry and bring baby to mom.
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Hold the baby after a feed.
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Put the baby down to sleep.
Fathers, partners and co-parents can find things they enjoy doing with their baby. Their relationship with their baby is very important and will benefit themselves, mom and baby greatly. Although many fathers, partners and co-parents might not have experience with newborns, with practice they will feel confident and relaxed.
Give Mom Time To Breastfeed
Help with Housework
Wash the dishes, do the laundry, clean the kitchen so mom can rest and focus on breastfeeding
Help with Childcare
Take a more active role in the care of any other children you may have at home.
Bring home groceries
Pick up healthy food items for family dinners and snacks.
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Prepare Meals
Prepare fresh and nutritious meals and snacks.
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Ask others for help
See if friends and/or family are able to help.
Give Mom Support
Beyond giving mom time to breastfeed and sharing in setting the breastfeeding goals, it is important to show your support for her efforts:
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Monitor her comfort while breastfeeding and help her find a comfortable, relaxing position.
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Treat mom with kindness, affection and admiration.
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Let mom know you appreciate the hard work she is doing by breastfeeding.
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Sit with mom while she breastfeeds, provide comfort, help, understanding and care.
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Ask her if she needs anything or if there is anything you can do to make her more comfortable.
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Work together to use effective communication and problem solving skills, should challenges arise.
Effective Communication and Problem Solving
Effective Communication
Put aside time to talk about how breastfeeding is going for each of you.
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Practice active listening, being present, being attentive and not distracted.
Try this Exercise:
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Take turns speaking and listening.
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When the speaker is talking, the listener should not interrupt.
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When the speaker is finished the listener can repeat what they think they heard.
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Once you agree that the message was understood, switch and give the listener a chance to talk.
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(Markman, Stanley & Blumberg 2010)
Problem Solving
Deal with problems when you are both calm. You may need to set a time to discuss the problem when you have both had a chance to calm down.
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Remember you are a team and working together toward a common goal for your child. Stay focused on your goal.
Try this Exercise:
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Use effective communication to make sure you have a common understanding/definition of the problem.
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Make a list of possible solutions.
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Discuss the pros & cons to each solution.
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Choose a solution you will use to address the problem - compromise.
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Follow-up and see how the solution is working.
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(Markman, Stanley & Blumberg 2010)
Friends & Family
How to Help
Support from friends and family can also help make breastfeeding a success. If you and your baby's father or co-parent have decided to breastfeed, tell your family and friends and ask for their support. Help them understand the benefits of breastfeeding and how breastfeeding works.
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During the early days after birth, some babies and mothers need time to learn and practice their new breastfeeding skills. What other people say or think may impact how successful a mom is at breastfeeding and her willingness to keep trying. Friends and family can have a positive impact by:
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Being Informed - Get as much information about breastfeeding as you can before the baby is born. Talk to friends, relatives, other families who have breastfed their baby and health professionals to learn what makes the breastfeeding experience successful. Explore this website to learn more about breastfeeding and how you can help mom.
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Knowing Where Support is Available - Become familiar with the resources in your community and help mom access them if needed.
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Offering Encouragement - a new mother may worry that she does not have enough milk for her baby. Most women have more than enough milk. Encourage her to breastfeed, as it is the best way to feed her baby. Tell her that you believe in her. Tell her that you are there to help.
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Do Not Disturb - Limit visitors, telephone calls and other interruptions during the early weeks after the baby is born. Give mom and baby a chance to know each other and learn how to breastfeed successfully.
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Encourage Rest - a new mother needs lots of energy to recover from childbirth and focus on the baby. Help with everyday needs such as meal preparation, dishes and laundry. Keep the home tidy and help care for other children.
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Help the Mother Care for the Baby - Babies cry for many reasons - not just for hunger. Learn different ways of comforting the baby such as skin-to-skin, holding, walking, singing or dancing. Bathing and changing are other ways to help care for the baby and give mom more time to breastfeed and take care of herself.
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Encourage Mom to Get Help - If mom is having difficulty with breastfeeding, encourage her to ask for help.
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Remember That Each Mother is Different - Ask her what you can do to help her.
Community Resources
There are many places where you can find breastfeeding support in your community: ​
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Across Canada, you can access free breastfeeding advice and referrals 24 hours a day, seven (7) days a week by phoning 811.
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Some Canadian provinces also have additional ways of helping you access support in your community. Click HERE to find additional support in your province.
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Lactation professionals have received additional training in lactation and may be certified as an International Board Certified Lactation Consultant (IBCLC). With the specialized knowledge and skills obtained through this additional training, lactation professionals are able to provide personalized care to help mothers achieve their breastfeeding goals.
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Click on the thumb tack to find support in your province.
To download Breastfeeding Support by Province - please click HERE
Breastfeeding Support Across Canada
Peer Support Groups
It can be very helpful to spend time with other mothers who are breastfeeding. One example of breastfeeding peer support groups are those run by La Leche League. This organization has been providing peer breastfeeding support to women for many years.
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Breastfeeding support groups are also available on social media. Remember, not all information on social media is accurate. If the information in social media posts differs from the information on this website or what your health care provider is saying, please talk with a lactation professional such as an International Board Certified Lactation Consultant (IBCLC) or your health care provider.
Video: Mothers' experiences with La Leche League
Breastfeeding Matters
Click on the button below to download a copy of Breastfeeding Matters, an important guide for breastfeeding families (2020). Best Start by Health Nexus.
Breastfeeding Matters includes much of the same information included in this website such as why breastfeeding is important, common concerns, and what to watch for in a downloadable format. Resources from Best Start are used throughout this website with their permission.
